The Disney Princesses Ranked By Betchiness

As we all know, the world is a literal ball of flames, but there are some things that still matter. Namely, the betchiness of some of our favorite Disney princesses. Now, by virtue of being princesses, all the Disney girls are fairly betchy, but here is our ranking of the most, and least, of them all. If your favorite princess is missing, it is because they are middle of the road betchy and I don’t have the time for it. If you’re upset, remind yourself that Donald Trump is literally going to be president and there is other shit to worry about rn. 


Ariel is the betchiest of the princesses for a number of reasons. For one, she is 16, which is the second betchiest age after 21. She starts shit off strong by both arriving late for the shell-based, all-mermaid choir that she is apart of (nice extracurriculars, Ar); and being the youngest and hottest of her sisters. She then continues the betchiness by being a little shit to her dad, who she refers to exclusively as “Daaaaaadddyyyyy” and disregards all of his advice in favor of chilling in her giant room full of shit she doesn’t need and pursuing a hot rich guy that she saw once—and that’s literally like, the first five minutes of the movie. Ariel is then able to snag said dude (who is too nervous to kiss her btw) without having to say shit, and beats out some wack-ass brunette in the process. Also, Ariel is a mermaid and only wears a bra. Case. Closed.

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